Tuesday, November 18, 2008

terrible two

When people said to me "Welcome to the terrible twos" with a smirk, I thought come on, it can't be that bad. Until one fine day about a week ago when Imran started to exhibit an unusual behaviour of throwing his temper when I told him not to play with the door. He started to get so upset by screaming continously that I couldn't reason, distract or calm him down which was quite unusual. The more I raised my voice, the more upset he would become, running around and rolling himself on the grass in the garden!

Since then, similar behaviour has repeated itself numerous times when he can't get what he wants. It got to a point where I was actually worried and called Dino at the office to share my frustration and worry. I thought it seemed like hysteria! That evening Dino had to handle the same situation when he refused to come upstairs for his bath. We didn't know what to do and did not want to give in to what he wants especially when he has already 'misbehaved'. We thought making him 'win' was just going to be disaster in the future as he will use it as a method to get his way every time.

As we were both scratching our heads wondering where the boy was getting all this determination and energy from, I turned to the always reliable and useful babycentre.com! I couldn't believe what i read under the subject 'tantrum' (thank goodness it's not hysteria!) While I was relieved to know that it is common, I was amazed at how accurate the descriptions were.

It helped a lot to understand that it arises from frustration as it is at this age that they suddenly realise their independence and gain confidence to go against what others say. I guess it is no co-incidence that it is happening just as he starts to settle in play-school. It also helped to know how to handle the situation. Apparently what we were doing, i.e holding him down and reason with him (obviously we had to scream to him so that he can hear us!) were making the situation worse. In stead, we're supposed let him snap out of it on his own, and also not to make a big deal of the situation. This isn't easy though as you get tired and frustrated listening to him scream, not to mention sympathise with him. And what do you do when it happens in public?

I can only hope that this phase will pass as quickly as possible (although I know that's wishful thinking!)


At 12:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you know, i've always thought imran would skip the tantrum phase coz he always seems so calm!

it's obvious a 2-year-old will always be a 2-year-old eh? :)

At 9:22 AM, Blogger fara / ly-d said...

i've learnt to ignore anaqi when he's into one of his tantrum. i tried reasoning with him - he'd just glare at me and continue.

it helps that his kakak sometimes manages to distract him out of his tantrum by offering her toy or asking him to play freeze tag

At 10:18 PM, Anonymous elly said...

i asked myself the same thing also sha. what do we do when it happens in public eh?! there were a few moments for me where i'll be on the floor together with her and 'learn' to 'ignore' the passers-by.. :)
what else can we do eh?!

At 7:13 AM, Blogger modd said...

saw this one ad in tv. sensing that her kid would throw his tantrum at the supermarket, the mum quickly did the 'tantrum act'...on the supermarket floor, leaving the kid tak jadi nak mengamuk....hehehe. not advisable though, dalam iklan tv aje boleh la. Anyway, i also read that distracting them would help, such as showing things he love etc.

At 12:25 AM, Blogger miss-cream said...

haha.. the ad must be so funny modd! oh no nina, calm he's not when he's into one of these moods! well, i guess there's a reason why it's called the TERRIBLE twos right?


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