Wednesday, November 05, 2008

a whirlwind of intense emotions

I have been telling everyone including my gynae that I have a strong feeling that this baby might come out early. Imran was 3 weeks early, but this time I somehow feared that it might be really early. So I rushed and prepared the baby's room and just when this was taking shape, I experienced something that I remember only experiencing in the labor room a few hours before Imran was born.

I said to Dino that I think it might be contractions and it is not Braxton Hicks as it seems quite regular. So we decided to get it checked on the CTG monitor at the hospital in the morning. True enough, the minute the doctor saw the CTG graph, he said "that's pre-term labor". I panicked and Dino was waiting at the gate of KLIA waiting for confirmation if he should or should not board the plane to Jakarta.

As the baby was only at 33 weeks, the doctor advised to stop the contractions with medication and bed-rest. I freaked out when he suggested that I be warded so I can rest properly (I think he knows me too well and suspect that I might cheat a bit if I'm at home..) But, of course I don't want to be hospitalised. Who's going to take care of Imran? (especially when Dino is away half of the week). No doubt there are maids who can take care of him but it would be really difficult for both me and him to detach ourselves from one another so suddenly as we are so close to each other.

So now, here I am at home resting. Although it's tough for me and Imran (and Dino who now tries to minimise his time in Jakarta and has got to be both Papa and Mama to Imran), I have to stay focused to make sure this baby inside of me is keeping well and ready to face the world. 2 more weeks and I feel quite confident that she'll be alright (Insya-Allah), but the longer she can stay in, the better it is of course.

I feel a bit calmer now that I have adjusted to a new routine of just sitting back and giving instructions to people around me (actually it isn't so bad!), and also that Imran is getting used to me not being able to carry him etc. But the past week has been filled with such intense emotions - of nervousness that the baby might come out early especially when Dino is not around, of sadness to see Imran being affected by the sudden change - he keeps coming to me to say "Iman sayang Mama" and to check on the baby in the tummy, of restlessness for not being able to do what I usually do, of confusion if we should go on with Imran's birthday party (we decided to cancel), of anxiety if the baby is well and ready to see the world, of worry if we will cope well with having the new addition, and of course of
excitement to be able to see the new baby soon (hopefully not so soon though!)


At 1:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey sha2!

do take care of yourself and complete bedrest is key! but you know since you have past 33 weeks, i would say if the baby is coming out early (hope not!), he/she will do very, very well. i've seen so many premmies as it's amazing how well they are! last night i help resuscitate 29 week twins and they r doing amazingly well! so dont worry ok? seriously!! just make sure you have a really competent paediatrician where you r delivering! heheh

xx Rina
ps: thanks for the wish!

At 1:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

opps mistake...'and' not 'as' in the 5th line!!

At 9:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

sha! its so the feeling i know when you mentioned about imran kept going to you and say 'iman sayang mama'. it was like that when i started not carrying arina and she had that look of confusion and took her many2 explainations to really grasp the situation i guess..

At 3:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi sha2,

hope everything will go on smoothly, insya-Allah. Take care!

elly, are u expecting too?

At 8:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

let us know the good news!

for the mean time, just enjoy sitting back and relax... :)

take care!

At 7:58 PM, Blogger iZy said...

sha, perhaps the baby just can't wait to meet abang imran, hence the 'false alarm' ya?

take care and enjoy this one while it lasts!!

p/s: good luck!


At 8:15 AM, Blogger Nik Sharifidin said...

well, hopefully abang imran won't be too jealous!

thanks guys for the moral support. rina - yes, my gynae said the same so i am not too worried. i think the main difference is just the bigger they are (but not too big though!) the easier it will be too handle them right? (i.e breastfeeding etc) hope you're doing well and enjoying this amazing experience!

yes guys - will definitely keep you all updated! xx

At 8:17 AM, Blogger miss-cream said...

gosh.. i always do this mistake when i browse using dino's lap-top. how annoying! just to let you know - that was me! (and not nik sharifidin!?)

At 11:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yes, it's mainly the size of the baby, everything else is already fully form. i always tell moms 'you might as well have the baby out and enjoy them rather than carrying for another few weeks'. heheh....

so far im coping...but it's not easy with work and all, i tend to worry bout the little one too, guess its normal!

At 4:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have the same feeling as you.. I told everyone that my baby is coming out early and is not going to wait for year 2009..:) I guess we have to wait and see!
Anyway, you take care of yourself and your baby! Sometimes we get too overwhelmed and worried with the preparation for the new baby,
we forgot to take care of ourselves!

At 7:17 AM, Blogger miss-cream said...

raz, i think we know our body best and when we feel that way, it's probably true. so make sure you take it easy from now on. having a toddler this time around certainly doesn't help as we tend to forget (or don't have much chance!) to put our feet up..

rina, it is normal to feel that way esp at this stage, but as my dad always say - doctors do tend to worry more coz you know too much! i agree with you that might as well have the baby out. am getting anxious (and restless not being able to be up and about!) that i wouldn't mind the baby anytime now!



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