on parenting
Although Imran is now feeding every 4-hours and has a routine throughout the day, he is still (most of the time) not able to put himself to sleep. How can I expect him to, if all this while, I either breastfeed or rock him to sleep?
Envious of friends (other partners of INSEAD students with babies) who manage to just put their babies down to self-settle, I tried to train Imran to sleep on his own using the 'cry it out' method. I don't know how people do it, but it wasn't even 10 minutes of listening and leaving him to cry, that I found myself crying so emotionally before picking him up and promising him not to do it ever again!
I keep asking myself, why is it that (unlike the other babies), he is so dependant on the rocking and the swinging, the lullabies, the patting - and realised that a lot of it is cultural.
In our culture, babies are hardly left alone. From the day they are born, they are constantly in the arms of people, of grandparents soothing them with movements that put them to sleep. The minute they cry, you as first time parents are led by more experienced people to believe that the baby is hungry, and to put him on the breast. How else would you expect him not to be addicted to the oh-so-comforting 'thing'?
Is the western way of putting a baby on a routine from the day they are born - selfish, practical or logical?
I say logical.
Afterall the grandparents are not here to pick them up at 4 am in the morning, and spend an hour rocking them to sleep, are they?
Needless to say, of course the close contact practised by our culture is good to enhance the bonding between parents and baby. But, bonding with well-rested parents, rather than grumpy ones, sure is healthier!
Now, how do I teach him to self-settle? Any ideas?
posted by miss-cream @ 4:40 PM
8 Comments:
i can't imagine leaving the baby in the next room with a baby monitor. i'd have more sleepless nites then. :)
let's just do what we're comfortable with.
same here.. had read up a lot on the cry out method.. but dun think i will be able to survive it
it is definitely a cultural thing. and esp. in my case, where i am still staying with my parents... there's always arms available that are willing to cuddle and coddle the baby...
but the lure of being able to have anaqi just sleep on his own is quite tempting hehe..
i'm learning from you peeps
ly-d.. i found the baby whisperer's theory quite helpful. check out www.enotalone.com/article/5465.htmlfor an excerpt from her book. when babies are more independant, not only is it good for us, but it's also good for them! good luck!
wahhh.. just read the link u gave me...pretty intriguing.. will definitely give it a try... right now anaqi is doing E.S.A.E.S.A.E.A.S
hehhehe.. Y dia ilang trusss.... anywho.. once the routine is established kenak bagitau sama carer (my dad and amir)
i know what you mean, imran was the same. could only sleep after feeds (on the breast, what do you expect?!) the real challenge was to change that. it worked, but a lot of hard work and persistence! good luck to the carers - but knowing grandparents - a bit tough i think!
wanna check out the baby whisperer's theory now. hehe.
thanks for visiting my page sha2..:-) Hope one day Ilham and I will have the chance to meet this cute baby Imran in person!
Post a Comment
<< Home